Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Little Miss Fussy Pants

I've sat down to write. What about, I'm not really sure. I just have this sense of urgency that I must write, or be disobedient.

I've delayed and deliberated for an hour or so, trying to think of something meaningful, clever or at the least, informative, but I've drawn a blank. So, I'll write about my morning:

Tracci arrived with Rylee (10 mo.) just after 7 AM. Thankfully, I'd set the alarm, so I was at least prepared for her arrival. Ok, "prepared" might be a little strong. I was "somewhat awake and decently dressed."

Rylee was tired and cranky - not a morning person any more than I am - so I rubbed her back until she fell asleep. For a few minutes. By that time, Darin was showered and ready for breakfast, so the three of us sat down to banana muffins, oatmeal and Lucky Charms. I won't bore you with who ate what. Nor will I tell you about the really gross diaper that followed.

After Darin left for the church, I finished my time "alone" with God, cleaned up the kitchen and sat down to read and play with Rylee. It didn't last long. She wanted to be held, nothing else would do. But then even that became insufficient. So, I let little miss fussy pants crawl around on the floor and holler for a while. She didn't cry a single tear, so I knew she wasn't upset, hurting or needy, just mad or missing her mom. Before long, I watched her pull a blanket onto the floor and curl up. Aha! Finally, tired enough to do something about it! Scooping her into my arms, we sat down on the couch and she fell asleep almost immediately.

She's still resting in a sweet peace.


I guess that's me sometimes, too. Wanting the comforting peace of God, yet unsettled in his arms. So, I crawl around and holler for a while - Little Miss Fussy Pants. Finally, I come to the end of my rope, emotionally exhausted, grab the nearest cozy blanket and curl up on a cold floor. And the gracious Comforter, who wanted to talk and play with me all along, scoops me into his arms, offering warmth, stillness and peace.

So far, I think that's what 2010 is going to be about for me. Learning to be content; receiving and welcoming the peace of God. Accepting life as it is, here and now, rolling with the punches (hopefully) a little better; I feel like I'm stiffening as I age rather than becoming more flexible. Now is the winter of our discontent

Shakespeare's opening lines in Richard III read:
Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York

His meaning (as I understand it - I wasn't a Lit major, ok?) is the time of unsettledness is soon to disappear; a new and glorious day is dawning. Unfortunately, Richard's planning a coup to take over the throne, destroy his brother and rule the nation with malevolence.

While that's not in my scheme (I don't have a brother!), I would like to think of any discontent or unsettledness in my life, heart and mind as the winter prologue to a glorious summer. Perhaps 2010's motto for me can read like this:
Then was the winter of my discontent
Now made glorious summer by this Son of God.

Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.” John 8:12

For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:15