The final premise of Captivating:Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul is that all women long to be swept up in romance. Now let me begin by saying that this doesn't mean that every female needs a male significant-other in her life. In other words, a teenage girl doesn't need a boyfriend, nor does a woman need to be married. What this means is that every woman longs to be seen and desired, sought after and fought for. Wanted.
The first men to fill that role in our lives, should, ideally, be our daddies. I am so grateful to the Lord that he blessed me with a father who, because of a committed relationship with God and my mom, showered his love upon me. I never had to question whether or not my dad wanted me around. Sure, I got in the way sometimes (a six-year-old can be a pain when you're trying to build a house), and there were many times I disappointed him (oh, I'm not supposed to punch my sister?), but I never doubted that he was glad I existed in his life. Unfortunately, too many women grow up without that assurance and as a result, they live with a quiet fear that they are undesirable. This ends up manifesting itself in many ways. Some women become reclusive and fearful, others reach out for anyone who will give them a sense of value. Still others overcompensate for the emptiness by being "strong," even masculine (I don't need anyone to need me.)
In a perfect world, for those who are married, a husband should assume this role in a woman's life. But, let's be honest, it doesn't always turn out that way. I have a friend who believed her husband would be that kind of man, but instead he became more interested in nurturing their pocketbook and less interested in nurturing her soul. Married less than7 years, they filed for divorce a few months ago. It took longer than I would have preferred to find Darin, who offers that sense of belonging to me, but it was certainly worth the wait.
But what about those women who have never married, or are not yet married? Are they destined to live neglected in this area of romance? Absolutely not. Single women have a unique place in the heart of God, I believe. Consider for a moment the ministry of Jesus as related to Mary and Martha. Whom did Jesus allow to anoint his feet with tears and dry with her hair? Who's meals did he apparently enjoy eating from time to time?! Who's brother did he raise from the dead so that in a culture dependent upon male relationship, they would be safely provided for? A single woman has the opportunity for a unique relationship with God that has no parallels for a married woman.
Single or married, we as women must begin to recognize that "the truest thing about [God's] heart toward [ours] is not disappointment or disapproval but deep, fiery, passionate love. Faithful obedience to God is vital, but it is not all God draws us to. It is not sufficient for our healing, no more than doing the laundry is sufficient for a marriage."1 If we'll open our hearts to the possibility, we'll find that God has been wooing us ever since we were little girls. "The story of your life is the story of the long and passionate pursuit of your heart by the One who knows you best and loves you most."2
Consider every song, memory, and moment that moves you to holy tears as having been given from the One who has been pursuing you from your first breath. "God's version of flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinners comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; swaying trees, lush gardens and fierce devotion. He knows what takes your breath away and makes your heart beat faster."3
Let the Great Romeo romance your heart, Juliet. It will be an affair to remember for eternity.
1. Captivating:Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul, p. 113.
2. ibid., p. 115
3. ibid., p. 116
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