God's Soundtrack

I've always been a fan of musicals. Ever since I was a wee little girl. I'd dance through the house singing "Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens...." The combination of music and drama, coupled with romance and conflict has always scratched right where I've itched. Add to that the incredibly (however far-fetched) happy endings, and I'm sold. Movies with good soundtracks have the same effect, and not just the chick flicks. I've never watched the entirety of "Gettysburg," but I can follow the story just by listening to the music.

Sitting at the dining room table late this morning, I began to think musicals, or at least movie soundtracks, must have been God's idea. I was sewing, listening to some of my favorite songs on the IPod. Chris Rice's "Untitled Hymn" began to play - a tender lullaby of calling and comfort.

Weak and wounded sinner, lost and left to die

The words matched the view out our 10 foot window: overcast; the sun hidden behind gray and white clouds. Then, suddenly...

O, raise your head, for love is passing by, come to Jesus and live!
Now your burden's lifted and carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so sing to Jesus and live!

The sun's glow beamed into the room so brilliantly I had to squint. Yet in a heartbeat,
clouds covered the sun, and a cold darkness settled itself over the room again.

And like a newborn baby, don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk sometimes we fall...
Sometimes the way is lonely and steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain...

As the sun burst forth again, tears jumped to my eyes as I realized God's handiwork matched the music...

O, and when the love spills over and music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then dance for Jesus.

Suddenly, the clouds passed over, covering the sun, yet again.

And with your final heartbeat, kiss the world goodbye

As the clouds departed, the sun shone directly on my face, warming my body and soul...

Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and fly to Jesus and live!

I guess God puts a soundtrack to life almost every day in one way or another. Whether it's birds singing, wind howling, water tripping over rocks. The big question is, "Are my eyes and ears open to see and hear his music?"

The Humility of Jesus

Several months ago, I read the following devotional by Michael Card and was struck by the absolute humility Christ demonstrated, even in his most "powerful" moments of miracles and the resurrection. Jesus could have enjoyed plenty of celebrity status following the feeding of the 5000, the public healings, etc., but he didn't find security in the opinions of others, so their praise or jeers didn't affect his intentions and purposes (although I truly believe such comments affected his feelings). Nevertheless, Jesus' demonstrations of humility at the best and worst of life's moments have caused me to deeply reflect upon my own humility (or lack thereof). I certainly hope that when people observe my life and behavior, they recognize an "un-prideful" person, but more than other's observations, I want my heart and mind to be characterized by an inescapable and desperate dependence on God, so much so that He is in my thoughts at all times: first, last and always, with others or alone with Him.

"I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does." John 5:19

The humility of Jesus is evident on every page of the Gospels. Though he might have grasped equality with God, Jesus lets go of position and authority. He comes in poverty and weakness. He always points away from himself and directly to the Father upon whom he says again and again he is totally dependent. As a result, when Jesus performs a miracle, he ... always [redirects] the praise for the Father.

The humility of Jesus is most strikingly portrayed in his miracles. Without question they are literally miracles. They shatter and defy nature, physics and the world as we know it. But if you listen closely to the text, you will notice that Jesus' manner, his demeanor, the way in which he does his miracles is ordinary and simple.

Slow to Join; Glad I Did

I've got this thing. I don't want to do something if everyone else is doing it. Not because I'm such a great individualist, but because I don't want to be left holding the bag if it all goes bad. It's true. Throughout large portions of my childhood and adolescence, I would go along with everyone else because I couldn't think of anything better to do. (I'm not terribly creative.) But, time and again, I'd be the one caught and in trouble because I couldn't make a quick enough getaway.

Case in point: one afternoon several of us girls were romping through the church building while waiting on our parents to finish a meeting. Now, at the time, the R.A.s had a secret hideout thingy they'd built in the children's area with ladders and false walls and stuff, but it was (naturally) off limits to any and all females.

We girls decided while the boys were out on the playground, we'd take the opportunity to hunt for the secret hideout. Sneaking away, that's exactly what we did. We searched high and low until we found the ladder leading to the cedar-paneled room filled with boy stuff (none of which interested us, of course). To our delight, we'd located their secret, even if it wasn't terribly exciting. I was looking around the room, searching for something unique enough to make this trek worthwhile, when suddenly, all the girls scattered and I was alone. Face-to-face with a boy two years older than me who wasn't at all happy about seeing a third grade girl in a boy's hideout. I hemmed and hawed and took off like a bolt of lightning, but, I'd been caught. He reported the invasion to his dad, who told my dad, and well, let's just say I didn't venture up there again.

See what I mean? I was the only one caught, even though I insisted I wasn't alone. Since then, I've rarely even signed political petitions as a safety measure. Should I ever decide to run for public office (ha!), my opponents will have a hard time saying I was a supporter of "such and such" or adverse to "fill-in-the-blank."

I guess that's why I was so slow to join the Facebook revolution. If it all breaks down, I don't want to be responsible! But, I'm now realizing just how much I've already missed. Since last Monday, I've rediscovered old friendships and reconnected with people I love. As much as we are and claim to be a "hibernating" culture, I can't help but believe we still desire relationship most of all. Facebook just helps us do relationships on our own terms; for good or bad is still to be determined, I think. But for now, I'm loving it.

Year in Review

Wow. Thinking back over 2008, I'm amazed at the things Darin, the Lord and I walked through.

At the beginning of the year, I set a goal to publish something (anything!) and I'm happy to report my goal was met! In cooperation with the Baptist World Alliance, I got to participate in writing a devotional for Advent (see it online at BaptistWay, "Online Reading" - mine was Dec. 29) so I just barely met it, but hey, it happened nonetheless!

April brought the 90th birthday of my precious grandfather, which we celebrated with a huge family gathering. And, praise God, he's still doing quite well! It also brought the delightful addition of a goofy and precious puppy we named Dodger: family member and mascot for Darin's T-Ball team!

In May, we enjoyed a delightful touring vacation through Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, Ohio, West Virginia, Virginia, and North Carolina, and then our world turned upside with the advent of three children under three moving into our home. Fostering those kids was a tremendous blessing and labor, simultaneously. I still celebrate with fondness and joy the progress and growth we saw in them as the Lord allowed us (and so many of our friends) to invest our lives into theirs.

The greatest blessing of all came in October, as we purchased our beautiful home. We're so glad buying the house enabled us to set down more stable roots and, and at the same time, help the church by providing more comfortable housing for the NeSmiths. We've been thrilled to get to know our neighbors as we've settled in to our new surroundings. If you're in the area, please stop by: we're the only house with a mailbox!

So, there it is, 2008 in review. Full of new experiences and blessings and relationships and even an accomplishment or two! (Although not printed this year, a lesson I wrote for BaptistWay is scheduled to appear in the Adult Sunday School Literature, Spring of 2009!)

So I celebrate and say with James "Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father" (1:17)!

What If?

What if Mary, Jesus' mother, wasn't like we've always pictured her to be?

What if she was still a chunky teenage girl who hadn't yet lost her baby fat and was accustomed to the torments of girls her age? Perhaps then, that was, in part, why God chose her. She'd handled ridicule well, and there was bound to be even more as an unwed pregnant girl in that culture. Furthermore, her name means "bitter." Living life with that moniker might have made her one tough broad. She may have had a strength of character that surpassed her youth.

What if she was less "cheerleader" and more "softball catcher"? Her dad and mom may have been thick, stocky people and mom may have been a fantastic cook, too!

What if she wasn't blue-eyed? Few Jewish girls are.

What if she would never have been chosen Homecoming Queen? She may not have been incredibly attractive. Her Son certainly had nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him (Isaiah 53:2).

What if she wasn't a sweet, demure, acquiescent child but a robust, confident, stubborn young woman with deep convictions?

So often, when we hear her name, we picture a pansy-like demeanor subtly accepting "the will of God." But look again at Luke 1:26-38: she's a thinking person. She wants a logical answer for how in the world she's going to have a baby, and isn't afraid to ask. Furthermore, what if there's an unrecorded pause between verses 37 and 38 where she has to consider all the implications and decide to trust an unseen God before she says, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said." And I love the fact that she fully recognizes this is being done to her. She's not naive and assumes it will all work out with no complications or difficulties. She understands this will have a profound effect on every aspect of her life as it stands right now.

What if she was shoveling manure in the barn when the angel came to her? Let's face it, we usually picture her stirring a pot over an open flame, feeding a lamb or darning socks. Women in that culture had to do the dirty chores, too.

Were any of these "what ifs" true, they wouldn't change the fact that above all else, Mary is obedient, and humbly recognizes her place as servant of the Most High God. Confident or insecure, lovely or unattractive, shy or gregarious, she willingly gave all she was to all that God needed her to be. No reservations, no holds barred, for better or worse.

God, some days I fail so miserably at giving all of myself to you, but for this moment, know that all I am deeply desires to be your obedient servant today.